Stuff I Say

Progress and Happiness are Inversely Proportional

Posted in Japan, Japanese Language by 51future on September 17, 2008

I went to my small school today and as soon as I got there I was accosted by my vice-principal who pulled me into the little counseling room next to the principals office and told me some grave news. The story starts last week on Friday. I took pictures at the Sport’s Festival which I had printed and brought in to show the staff. My original plan had been to give the students I had taken pictures of their own photos, you know, distribute as many of them as I could, and then throw the rest away. I mean, I didn’t print them out for myself, because I don’t really have any use for the prints when I have the original RAWs and JPEGs on my computer. The point is, I had printed these out for the students. Anyway, on Friday, my vice-principal told me she wanted me to make a poster the next time I came in. I had mixed feelings about the idea (mostly because I’m not very creative in that sense) but agreed to it anyway. However, this week (Wednesday) when I came in, she dropped a bomb and told me that *WE* had a situation on our hands. Why it was “we” and not her, I’m not sure. I still blame her for the whole thing, because it was clearly her fault.

What happened was, in her zeal to show off my pictures, she’d tipped off the student body (about 60 or so students at this school) about the existence of the prints. They came to look at them and loved them. They told her they themselves wanted to make a poster from the shots and she, not really thinking about it, gave them the pictures and her blessing. This is where it gets stupid. They took the shots and made an awesome poster– by cutting all the original pictures up and coming up with something really creative and unique; far more interesting than anything I would have come up with. Of course, when vice-principal realized what they had done, she told them that both she and the students might have to reimburse me for the photos because they’d cut them up without my permission. She told me that they’d be coming by today to prostrate themselves in front of me and apologize for their misdeeds. I, on the other hand, was somewhat perturbed by the whole situation since what they did is exactly what I would have wanted them to do, had I known there was interest. The poster was awesome.

So the first thing I did was to explain to her that it wasn’t their fault, since she gave them permission. She should be the one apologizing to me. But I told her she didn’t have to. No problem. I liked the poster. Put that up and let’s all get on with our lives. God knows these kids need some kind of ray of light in their life.

But no, the comedy of errors continued.

The kids apologized to me and I explained that I liked the poster. Let’s put that sucker up. But no. The vice-principal tells them to come and fix a few things at lunch to get it ready for posting. Whatever. I think she was angry because they had pasted a funny picture of her on the poster and then told her that they were poking fun at her. Well, actually I know this. That and a few other pictures were slated for removal before the poster went up in the hall.

By the time lunch time rolled around I was sweaty and in pain. I had a terrible fucking headache and no classes in the afternoon (both a blessing and a curse). The rest of the day sort of coasted on by while I studied kanji and eventually at around 4PM I started packing up. One of the kids “studies English” for 5 minutes after school so I stayed after to give him a vocabulary test and it was after that that I found out the true fate of the poster. Somehow, through a combination of both teachers who didn’t want the poster to go up because there wasn’t a picture of EVERY student in the school in it, combined with the protests of a few girls who didn’t want THEIR picture on the poster, the whole thing– everything, had collapsed. As far as I know, they’re going to throw the damn thing away so as not to hurt everyone’s feelings.

Progress and happiness are inversely proportional folks.

This same vice-principal wonders why Japan doesn’t have very many top-tier athletes in the Olympics, even when most students in Japan spend more time running and playing soccer than they do in class. Instead of putting up a great collage of shots at the expense of a few modest girls, the whole project was canned after it had been completed, all because the vice-principal decided that a doctrine of mediocrity for the sake of fairness was the way to go. I don’t blame her specifically and I’m not writing this to call anyone out. She was only doing what any other Japanese person would do in that situation. Eliminate individuality for the sake of the group.

So what then, does this have to do with studying Japanese?

Well, this is basically where my argument for the importance of Heisig’s method for studying the kanji begins and ends. See, in a typical Japanese language class at the college level, one learns words– sounds, basically, and then as the course progresses, you apply those sounds to Sino-Japanese characters forthwith known as kanji. The kanji aren’t treated any differently from anything else you learn in Japanese class. They’re just these complicated figures that are typically taught with little or no rhyme or reason, mentioned only in passing with the implication being that you need to memorize them in order to progress in the class.

In my own Japanese classes, no one ever explained the differences between on- and kun-readings, or that there even were such things. Often, kanji were introduced with only a single reading, for instance, 食べる — たべる without any mention that the kanji was functionally different as soon as you started seeing it in compounds. Stroke order was talked about. It’s important, they said. Memorize it. Only through my own personal study did I realize that most modern electronic dictionaries use stroke order to tell what kanji you’re trying to look up on the touch pad. Or that learning proper stroke order improves your handwriting and is absolutely necessary in order to correctly write some of the more complicated radicals. Nobody told me about radicals either, what role they played in the formation of any given character. I learned the SKIP method, probably the easiest way of looking up kanji in a printed dictionary, on my own. I specifically remember one instance in my college career where this lack of knowledge came to a head:

“I’m having some trouble in Japanese, Sensei. I can’t remember kanji very easily and I don’t really understand how I’m supposed to study them or anything. Like, why is it sometimes 新しい and other times 新聞. I don’t get it. How do you know when to use one reading and not the other?”

My professor got up and fished an relatively new Japanese newspaper out of his trash bin; crumpled as it was, he pointed to an advertisement on the front page and said, “You know both these kanji, right?”

“That one is new… and the other one is car.”

“So read it.”

I stared at it for a minute and shook my head. “I don’t have any idea.”

“Aww, come on! Shin… Right? It’s the shin in “shinbun” and this one is…”

“I don’t know? Shinkuruma?”

“No, shinsha. And it means?”


“New car. Easy.”

I remember it so well because it wasn’t easy. And I didn’t understand it. In retrospect, that compound is so stupidly simple that I feel like an ogre talking about it, but the fact of the matter was, back then, I didn’t understand it. I had no guidance. Kanji were just another thing to learn in the classroom. The weren’t any more important than learning combinations of hiragana that made up kanji compounds that weren’t yet taught with kanji.

Before I get to my final point, I have one more story to talk about. I’ll just summerize this one, as its less important than the others and is really only relevant because it sort of changed the way I thought about Japanese in general and I feel that, in the context of this entry, that sort of revelation might be useful.

I’ve heard it a lot since I’ve come here: “This reading has so many meanings. How the hell is anyone supposed to keep track of all of them?” かける for instance. There’s 書ける to be able to write, 描ける to be able to draw pictures, 掛ける to sit down (as in 腰掛け) or lock a door (カギをかける), etc. etc. etc. Now, the last time I heard this, I was somewhere at the 1600 mark in Heisig (able to write and identify the meanings of, but not read that many kanji) working on my reviews at the Board of Education on a non-school workday. Something clicked in my mind then and I realized (well, perhaps hypothesized) that a lot of Japanese learners, like myself, learn the sounds first and the kanji later. So when it comes time to integrate all this information into actual knowledge, learners use sounds as the building blocks for their morphemes in Japanese rather than starting out with the associated kanji. Yes, かける is a phoneme– it has meaning; but at the same time, I postulate here that those phonemes are first derived (in subconscious processes in native speakers) from their respective graphemes (kanji). Have you ever seen Japanese television? A lot of it has subtitles! Have you ever been in a conversation with a native speaker where they write out kanji on their hand to aid in understanding? It happens often enough to not be a fluke.

More importantly though, learning the kanji for any given Japanese homonym strengthens the meaning in my own mind tenfold. I never could quite understand the word 受ける until I learned the meaning of the corresponding kanji. As soon as I dedicated it to memory, I realized that I could use the word 受ける correctly in conversation, because whenever I thought of trying to say, “take a test,” the kanji would pop into my mind and I’d instantly remember the appropriate phoneme to go along with it.

Ultimately, as I said before, happiness and progress are inversely proportional. To tell university professors that every student needs to leave their classes with intimate knowledge of the general-use characters is tantamount to claiming that Japanese is impossible to learn. It is all but impossible to teach the general use characters in a classroom setting to students in 4 years who are also learning grammar and other pure Japanese vocabulary from scratch. But it’s what needs to be done. And yes, if you’re learning Japanese, you need to learn the joyo kanji. Learn them before anything else. Do it with Heisig. Leave the readings for later and just study the meaning and writing. You’ll learn the readings over time as you begin to read and converse in the language– that much is inevitable. Ignoring the Joyo kanji to persue, say, a specific level of the JLPT or grammar or whatever– that’s the biggest mistake you can make, aside from brute-forcing 2000 characters with little or no guidance.

At the end of the whole poster debacle, which may, even now, still be raging, I told my vice-principal that the only way kids grow up is to face a little hardship. Your tired-running-face on a poster full of your peers doing the same thing is not going to ruin your social life at school. The world isn’t going to end if you aren’t on the poster. I mean, at the end of the day, the fact of the matter was that I didn’t even take pictures of every student at the school anyway. Kids had been left out from the beginning and there wasn’t anything anyone could do about it. Instead of embracing that, they decided to toss the baby out with the bath water and start over, resulting in no pictures for anyone and no poster.

With Japanese, it’s the same damn thing. You have to treat kanji with the importance they deserve, despite the fact that they’re confusing and numerous. Single them out and learn them. I suggest Heisig, but I know of at least one person who’s brute-forced it. (Don’t do what he did, because he’s a genius and I doubt you’ll experience the same sort of results.) With Heisig, you learn the grapheme first and later integrate phonemes into that existing framework. You pour in a foundation and then start to work on your house. You can’t treat Japanese like every other language written in the roman alphabet and just brute-force a bunch of sounds and hope that your memory is good enough that synonyms and whatnot can be pulled up quickly and without error. However, when you have a full catalog of 2000 different concepts, applying sounds to those concepts is easy as hell. Trust me, I’m doing it right now.

Everyday that one of my (fellow ALT) co-workers calls me crazy for studying the general-use characters like I do, claiming that its farcical to learn the kanji that every adult Japanese person should have learned in school, acting as though I’m going above and beyond what is necessary, I say, “No. I want to learn Japanese. What, exactly, are you studying?”

Life in Japan is Not a Manga

Posted in Japan, Japanese Language, Stuff by 51future on September 11, 2008

So let me tell you a thing or two about life in Japan: It’s not a manga. First and foremost, that’s the gist of this article. And I guess the second point is that even if it was, you’d find it sorely lacking.

So let’s talk about comics for a second. There’s a movie coming out soon in the states called Watchmen based on a DC comic of the same name. Even if you don’t know much about Watchmen, the point here is that “remains the only graphic novel to win a Hugo Award, and is also the only graphic novel to appear on Time’s 2005 list of “the 100 best English-language novels”, an annual feature of the magazine since it was founded in 1923.” Yes, I realize this is sort of an odd man out as far as comics are concerned, but if Watchmen doesn’t convince you that American comics are both interesting and relevant, then take a look at say, The Dark Knight or 300.

Japanese comics, on the other hand, are not interesting or relevant. Sure, there are cash cows. Evangelion has been around forever, and I still see the damn figurines every day I walk into a convenience store, even out here in the countryside. But there’s nothing particularly relevant about it. I mean, the gist of it is that a bunch of middle school students in big mecha are the only thing standing between a strangely-familiar ultra-futuristic Japan and total annihilation. Now, when the series first came out, the producer basically shit his pants on the last two episodes and put the main character (who had, about 3 episodes earlier gone into the hospital room of a cloned, emotionless sort of human-autopilot and jacked off on her full-body bandages while crying) in a room at school with all the other characters who then proceeded to tell him that he could reshape the world however he wanted. All this was mashed up with random footage shot in different places in modern Japan. Suffice to say, the ending was shit. Trust me, if you haven’t seen it, I’m not spoiling anything. A few years later, they came out with a proper ending, appropriately titled “End of Evangelion” which was good, if only because of the very visceral violence and appropriate suspense. However, at the end of that, the main character (who again, gets to choose how to reshape the world) turns it into a wasteland consisting of him, his love interest, and an ocean of blood. And then he spurns her.

I’m rambling though.

If you had talked to me 5 years ago, you would have found me in a bad way. I was stuck somewhere I didn’t want to be without any friends and a lot of spare time on my hands. I was depressed and near suicidal at some points and generally stupid and emo. You know what I spent a lot of my time doing? I read manga. I read Love Hina, Chobits, all sorts of mass produced shit– all around the time that manga was really taking off in America. I watched my neighborhood bookstore turn a whole wall into a manga section, even. (Shortly thereafter it closed down. +1 Barnes & Noble) It took me all 8 volumes of Chobits (that’s $80 for those following along at home) to come to the 5th grade realization that I had to tell my crush that I was in love with her and willing to do anything for her.

And you see, it was all that, coupled with the fear of doing real work in college that led me to taking Japanese. (Important for the next entry; take note of it.) I, like you may be now, was that guy/gal who thought that learning Japanese would help me find these wonderful emotional pastures where I could spend my days idling away entangled in the arms of my love. Japan is not that. Japan is not anything like that.

I’m going on my third year here and try as I might, I’ve only ever met one person who I would have been inclined to date. And I was. Twice, actually. And then she left for America. Yes, people do get together here (I mean, hell, they must. Someone is having kids!) but it’s not like the manga. I was reading an article just the other day (how about that for anecdotal evidence?) that referenced a quote by some woman with some clout somewhere saying: “I have never met a Japanese man who did not want me to be his mommy.” This. This is what is happening in mangaland right now. As a 23 year old guy of modest looks and casual demeanor, I spend the majority of time talking to my “e-mail tomo.” That’s Japanese for “We talk about useless, pointless shit, but can never meet in person no matter what.”

And I haven’t even touched on the bad manga dramas yet.

I think that a lot of this probably sounded like a big long rant, but there is something here. I know that a lot of people come to Japan with plans to love the shit out of it. They can’t wait to go to drinking parties afterhours with their co-workers and be involved in crazy karaoke shenanigans. Or maybe they believe that coming here is going to miraculously improve their ability to draw their favorite emo basketball stars that start with nothing and rise to the top through a combination of luck, skill, and Shiseido hair gel. It doesn’t happen like that. Life in Japan is no different from life in America or life in China. Sure, there are school uniforms, perverted old men, shinto shrines and retarded video games, but you don’t need to speak Japanese to indulge in any of it. The only price of entry is to completely ignore any and all good taste and plunge right in.

Once you learn Japanese and all the mystique of waiting for scanlations and subtitles, guessing at stuff that even anonymous won’t translate, and generally just bitching about all the games that don’t make it across the Pacific, is gone, you’ll soon realize that most intellectual property in Japan, beyond a handful of literary writing that you probably won’t have the stomach to get to reading in its native language anyway, is complete and utter shit.

If you want to live inside a manga, I suggest you get a better brain. This is not a good reason to study Japanese.

A Change in Direction

Posted in Japan, Japanese Language, Maintainance by 51future on September 8, 2008

Man, it’s been a long time.

I bought that iPhone, headed home to the ‘States for some R&R and completely forgot about this little blog that had just started to attract a little traffic way back in July. Or so it seemed. No, I got home and I thought about posting and then I didn’t. I came back to Japan and thought about posting, but still abstained.

Weeks and weeks went by and I realized a few things. First, I neither have the time (blah blah blah, I know) nor the expertise to write about technology like I thought I wanted to. If you really go back and look at my past entries, a lot of it was just me complaining about things there were out of my control (Softbank, 10.5.3, etc.). Really useless stuff. Second, I’m not really passionate about that anyway. Sure, I really really like my iPhone and my Mac. I like discussing technology and software. It’s fun. It’s a hobby. But I’m only passionate about it to a point. And there are plenty of sites on the web dedicated to tech– too many to name, really. This blog, as it was yesterday, was redundant.

So today, I’m trying something new.

As you may have guessed, if you a.) know me, or b.) were an avid reader here (hah!)– I am currently learning Japanese. I’m… on an offensive, so to speak. That’s where the new name comes from. I’m on an offensive against the Japanese language. This blog is the new headquarters of the JLO– the Japanese Language Offensive. I want to strike hard and fast, where it hurts, and by writing about my success and my failures here, on this blog, I hope to help people who are currently knee deep in their own version of my theatre– whether it be at college, in class, in Japan, at home wanting to read manga, whatever. Everyday, some idiot sucker like myself decides “Hey, I’ma gonna learn that moonspeak!” Nine times out of ten, like me, the reason is usually something along the lines of “I like manga/anime/Jporn/Jwomen, etc.” Sure, there are other reasons to learn Japanese, but only really rare or boring people decide (from the beginning!) that they want to say, study ancient haiku (which is practically a different language anyway, really) or translate Genji again. Those things take dedication. And if you’re like me, you probably lack dedication. Which is OK. You can still learn Japanese. Yes, the road will be long and hard, but eventually, even a real screw up like myself can make inroads in this god-forsaken language.*

So that’s the reason for the sea change.

If you’re interested in games and technology, go read Engadget or Cnet or something. If you want to know the real story behind learning how to understand that porno you’ve got sitting around (you know the one, where the two adolescent looking girls in sailor outfits are, well, yeah– you know) then keep your eyes peeled. I’ve been studying Japanese for 4 years now (on and off, 3 of those years in higher education) and only now am I finally really coming to terms with all the mistakes I made and all the time I wasted.

Welcome to the JLO, private Nancypants.

(Note: All previous entries will remain for the sake of people linking to them, reading the Brujipedia/DL2 review, etc. That stuff (at least for the moment) remains useful for people randomly searching Google and whatnot.)

* Let’s get one thing straight too, while we’re at it… Yes, you can learn the language. The real question, however, is “Should you?” I’ll cover this in a post sometime this week. The answer might surprise you. (Har, har. Clever, I know.)

Club Activities

Posted in Japan by 51future on July 15, 2008

I was looking around for a story about local governments (here in Japan) pushing for shorter convenience store hours when I came across this story, which I guess is now a dead link to a bunch of comments on a story that has “expired.” (lotwut?) The original story was about the Ministry of Education ushering in longer school hours (again, lolwut– as the comments mention, are they talking about 5AM – 6PM, or 9AM to 10PM?) over the next three years in Japanese elementary and middle schools. The comments, of course, turned to club activities, since club activities are mandatory and often run until 7PM every day after school and usually also run on Saturday and/or Sunday.

I started reading the comments and it made me think about “club activities” here in Japan. I work at a large, Japanese middle school that serves the metropolitan area of a rather large city so we have numerous “clubs” that students are forced to take part in. Yes, unlike American schools, students in Japan are coerced into joining “club activities” and failure to take part in these club activities often carries harsher penalties than say, not attending school itself. At my school, students who skip school or come in at say, 10AM, rather than 8AM, often get a “Good Morning! You’re up early today!” when they do eventually mosey on into the school building and make their way to the nurse’s office; students who skip club activities will find themselves the target of harsh words, significant penalties, parental conferences, and the like. Most students do get some sort of choice as to which club they’re forced into: some choose tennis, others, ‘cleaning club,’ others still, band or track and field. They talk about their club activities in class essays, short sentences, and especially in English class. Their club is often more defining then their name. While we have many 大畑’s, you could more easily determine who is who by their club activity than you could with their names.

The main reason I’m bringing this up is because their are two viewpoints on club activities, usually harshly divided straight down the racial-cultural line. Here’s a typical Western viewpoint:

My daughter’s school had their open house yesterday. From what I saw there was only about 2 kids in every class that showed any interest in what the teacher was doing. About half of the kids were just sitting, eyes down, face hidden, not getting a thing. People always ask us how our daughter does so well at Jr. High. “What juku does she go to?” “How many hours of homework does she do every day?” Besides the obvious, that she has had a more diverse upbringing, all I can say is, she doesn’t go to juku and we tell her she doesn’t need to waste her time on most of the homework if she already knows it. Instead she can do what ever she wants in her free time. Oh, and we didn’t allow our daughter to join a school sports club. The only “down side” is that some of the sluttier girls give her the evil eye because she knows all the answers and the kids that spend all their time studying things they already know are in a panic. Less free time will mean the marks will drop even more.

Contrast that with a typical Japanese view:

a child learns a lot about life through sports (building up a high self-esteem, becoming mentally tough, respect, hard work leads to rewards etc), not to mention bonding with friends, where proxy’s kids’ friends are while his daughter is busy doing god-knows-what with all her free time. I can’t believe how negative some people view things here in Japan. Then again, this is where the pessimists hang out, so there u go. Proxy’s daughter will end up like my a few of my students who cry when they lose a game-based activity.

“Pizzaboy” in this case, sounds like a Japanese teacher, who, by default, invests a lot in club activities. I don’t know the ins-and-outs of a typical Japanese teaching contract, but I do know that most teachers spend an inordinate amount of time at school and I’m relatively sure that they don’t get paid for all (or even most) of it. Teachers here are contract workers, so overtime is a no-go. Most teachers I know, especially new teachers with something to prove will often arrive to work at 6 or 7AM (school officially starts at 8:20AM and contracts usually begin at 8AM– this I’m relatively sure of). Some clubs, in addition to afternoon practice, also practice in the morning. I get to school at 8AM and there are always throngs of kids running laps around the school grounds even at that time. (I arrive 30 minutes early to work every day in order to make the morning meeting. I’m not sure why I do this, since the meeting never ever concerns anything I do, nor am I obligated to go, but that’s another entry entirely.)

School officially ends at around 4:05PM. In the afternoon, most kids I talk to say they stay at school until 7PM, fewer still until 8PM. After that, they often head to night school for even more study and get home just in time to eat a quick dinner and tuck in.

When people ask me about club activities and I tell them that we don’t do that in the States, I usually get a sort of exasperated look, followed by a surprised chirp and a sense of awe. When I tell them that I think students should have a choice in the matter, the conversation usually peters off because well, nobody here feels that way, as far as I can tell. And I think some people have a twisted sense of turnabout and fair play: “I did it when I was a kid, so you have to do it, too.” (After all, what would Japanese families spend time doing together if they ever actually were in the same room at the same time anyway? Madness!)

In any case, I promised myself when I started this blog that I’d keep it topical and that I wouldn’t bitch about my job. I have the job I have because I jumped through a lot of hoops (willingly!) to get it and I even signed up for a second year! I cash my paycheck and I spend the money. Clearly, I’m getting something out of it. However, reading those comments made me realize that I have to ignore quite a bit that goes on around me, namely club activities, in order to continue to perform my job. Club activities don’t affect me. I’m not in a club. I don’t run one. Whether they are there or not has ZERO net effect on my contract or on what I do on a daily basis but that doesn’t change the fact that I think the brainwashing and coercion that takes place in relation to club activities is fucking criminal. And I think that the culture that surrounds them is a disservice to every single Japanese citizen who consciously or unconsciously allows their existence to continue.

Don’t worry, I’ll be back to talking about the App store in a day or two, at most.

SoftBank is Bullshit But I’m Paying Them Anyway

Posted in Apple, Japan, Mobile Computing, Mobile Telephony by 51future on July 12, 2008

Foreigners treated like criminals; not surprising

So have you ever heard of those foreigners who buy cell phone contracts and skip out of the country without paying them? No? That’s weird because I hear it happens all the time. Constantly. Japan’s phones are just so fucking amazing that people come to Japan specifically to buy phones and then skip the country. In fact, you’d be surprised to learn that most foreigners are also criminals and/or terrorists.

What makes all this even worse is that the iPhone is only available in Japan! It’s such an awesome phone that anyone who wants one must come to Japan to buy one. That’s why there are so many foreign criminals paying thousands of dollars for a flight over here just to sign up for a phone they don’t plan on paying for.

Whew. Enough sarcasm.

But yeah, SoftBank is a shitty company that treated me like a criminal and I’m not happy. This is the story I posted on iPhone in Japan:

I got my iPhone today and honestly, it was a pain in the ass.

I went down to the store about an hour after they started selling them, since I only had a half-day off work and started the setup then. About 30 minutes later, after working out my new phone number, getting the contract details and everything else, they told me to go home and come back before 8PM to pick it up since the “foreign registration checking system” was “crowded” today.

About an hour later, I get a call saying that there was a problem with my visa and they told me that I’d have to pay 80,000 yen in full if I wanted to get the phone. (This is a visa with 25 months left on it.) I asked them what the problem was and they said they didn’t know. The head office just called and told them that I’d have to pay the full amount if I wanted to walk away with the phone today. So I went back (without my passport and whatall, since I like to keep that in a safe place at home) and realized that what I should have inferred from the “problem” was that we’d have to start everything all over again from square one.

So I went *back* home and got my passport and whatnot, went to the bank, got my wad and then went and sat down for another 45 minutes where I coached them on how to utilize the iPhone keyboard to type in web addresses to help me (haha) change my email address. After that, I had to choose a new number (yep, the other new number I had chosen was now locked out, lawl) and new details, of which I’m not even sure anymore. After that, they told me to confirm I lived in Gunma-ken??? They claimed my passport said I lived in Gunma-ken (even though we could find no mention of a Japanese address anywhere on my passport or visas, whatever) and when they couldn’t really figure out how to read my foreign card (yes, it’s in Japanese, I don’t know what sort of brain rot was spreading at the SB store today) I just gave them my Japanese license and from there things went smoothly.

Eventually, I walked out of there less 80,000 yen with a new iPhone and a contract that I can end for free at any time which will eventually pay back something like 20,000 yen to me over the one year.

The upside to all this is that my monthly bill is going to be something like 5,300 yen a month, which I can’t really complain about. But yeah, today was hell.

Wish you all luck.

There was a point (after I had come and gone three times to the store) that I thought about vocally complaining rather loudly in Japanese about foreign discrimination, but then I watched another guy, a Japanese security guard who looked like he was just coming off his shift fork out the same 80,000 yen to get the phone as I did. After that, I didn’t feel so bad about paying, even though my unhappiness remained.

There’s plenty of comments in the linked story that point to the same sorts of problems. It makes me glad I’m not a Japanese person or a citizen of Japan. And it makes me sad that I’ve spent all this time learning this language.

Meanwhile, there’s this analysis of the iPhone: “It’s like a foreigner who speaks excellent Japanese!”

Everybody’s covered the contract bit, but about the dodgy Nikkei Trendy headline – it’s perhaps based on stuff like this:


Basically it understands the language, but without knowing the culture it screws up here and there, with the example being moji-bake-ing emoji – that will mean it will sell approximately zero to any woman under 35…

Then, to track shares you need to use the four-letter code, these’s no way to search names in Japanese.

Then there’s no One Seg or Osaifu Keitai, no 5MP camera, YouTube is too slow over 3G and there’s the lack of public WiFi here.

The conclusion seems to be picturing the iPhone as an American “Cool Beauty” – do you ditch the reliable Japanese model for a bit of foreign adventure?

“We’re as flexible as copper tubing,” says DoCoMo Pres. Ryuji Yamada

Posted in Apple, Mobile Computing, Mobile Telephony by 51future on July 4, 2008

DoCoMo Remains “Flexible” in iPhone Talks

DoCoMo, which has been in discussions with Apple to offer the iPhone, ‘hasn’t given up yet,” Yamada said June 23.

DoCoMo claims that they “remain flexible” and are still interested in the iPhone in Japan. Personally though, I think this analysis is closer to the truth.

Analysts seem to think that the problem is that DoCoMo wants to put iMode on the device, but I disagree with their assertion that time is the issue.

I imagine there are some fundamental issues with the whole “unfettered internet” paradigm, mostly because the guy behind “iMode” DoCoMo’s “popular” (read, everyone is forced to use this on their phones) internet platform thinks he’s a visionary. Sure, iMode is successful, but that’s a given, there is no alternative on a DoCoMo phone. AU has their own internet portal on their phones, too. It’s really all the same. It’s a walled garden with lots of opportunities to spend money on ringtones, games, SMS messages, and the like. Giving people the whole internet conflicts with the the idea of keeping people imprisoned. Without a way to completely neuter the internet experience on the iPhone, I imagine that DoCoMo will continue to “negotiate.”

This is undoubtedly a philosophical issue, since they could easily roll up an iMode app in the SDK and just install it on every new phone by default. The trick is that Apple is the one who has the keys to the experience and they know that if they give them up, it’s no longer an iPhone.

Apple too has their own “walled garden” in the App Store, but in this case, they’re only attempting to control the hardware, not the entire internet\.

Japanese People May or May Not Be Interested in the iPhone

Posted in Apple, Mobile Computing, Mobile Telephony by 51future on July 3, 2008

It’s hard to tell.

The survey–this time conducted when people had heard a bit more about the iPhone and its pricing–gave a list of several devices either just out or soon to come out. The iPhone was #1 on the wish-list of the Japanese respondents…

Even the 9% survey was a stretch–if 9% of Japanese cell phone owners bought an iPhone, it’d be a coup for Apple and Softbank. But 58%?

Basically, there was this survey that I saw some press on briefly in June, talking about the iPhone, which is now contradicted by another survey by the same company? that says that 58% of the respondents were most interested in the iPhone out of a group of upcoming and/or currently released smartphones. But even before that there was this survey that was done around the release of the original iPhone that said that 40% were interested in the iPhone– and that was the model without GPS or 3G.

I think the big difference here is that the survey conducted in June was based on a negative headline: “iPhoneにない“電池交換機能”に高いニーズ” and was primarily about whether or not people wanted a Softbank iPhone. It contained a lot of leading questions like (literally translated): “It’s been decided that Softbank will release the new iPhone; do you want it?” I can’t find a link to this newer survey in Japanese but according to Nikkei Electronics, it sounds like this new survey was primarily aimed at smartphone users, which obviously would come to different conclusions than the previously released figures.

But I think the most important information here is the fact that most Japanese smartphone users wanted to limit their monthly access fee, which sounds like a bad translation to me, but I assume that this means that they’d like to curtail the high fees that are usually associated with unlimited data. Softbank charges about 1,628円 per megabyte of data transmission off-plan, so it’s not surprising that people were worried about data charges. I pay even more for my data at DoCoMo (about 1,000円 for 128kb of data by my calculations– that’s on a “packet plan” too). Which is why I pleasantly surprised by the price of Softbank’s unlimited iPhone data plan for 5,985円 per month, even though a few people I talked to in the USA were shocked by the price.

But it’s clear that a lot of people remain duped by the phone companies. From the looks of the survey, it looks like their business customers don’t even realize that the e-mail they send is considered data, nor do they realize, I imagine, the theoretical utility of a VoIP application on an ubiquitous 3G network like Japan’s. Although it’s pretty unclear what exactly people on their phones are doing when I hear things like this:

Those free minutes may mean more to you, but not to me–I make phone calls other than to my wife maybe once a week, most often to my office.

Why You Should Vote for Barack Obama

Posted in Apple, politics by 51future on July 1, 2008

Softbank released their prices and I’m pretty satisfied with them. On Softbank’s White Plan we don’t get any “minutes” persay, beyond unlimited free calling to other Softbank users handsets during the day (1AM – 9PM), but that doesn’t really bother me. On my plan at DoCoMo I think I have something like 25 minutes free prepaid, along with something like 1Mb or 100Kb of data (for e-mail) and I pay 3,650 yen a month, which is the cheapest plan I’ve ever seen anyone on in Japan. Because voice rates are pretty expensive here, most people just text each other. However, even if I wanted to make a lot of calls (I have no one to talk, really) 20円 per minute isn’t bad at all. Typically, I make about 15 minutes of calls a month, maybe a few more if we have some kind of event coming up or something. In any case, Softbank’s iPhone plans include unlimited data, which means we aren’t getting screwed like those forced to deal with Roger’s. (That link is currently down, it looks like, but hit Engadget or Digg and do a search for “iPhone, Rogers” to get the gist of it.)

Meanwhile, Senator Orrin Hatch has given me one more reason to vote for Barrack Obama in the upcoming election: Obama doesn’t liberally spam my inbox!

Spam from the Republican Party

Usually, it wouldn’t bother me, but somehow this shit manages to get through Gmail’s spam filter and make it as far as’s junk box. Gmail will eventually get the hint and start trashing Republican money-grabs as spam, but I still need to log in and actually mark it, which is a pain in my ass. Unsubscribing is a joke. I shouldn’t have to unsubscribe to something I never signed up for in the first place. Don’t they have laws against this kind of thing?

Looks Like I’ll Be Switching Carriers in July

Posted in Apple, Gadgetry, Japan by 51future on June 7, 2008

Softbank announces “iPhone”

I can finally ditch this stupid DoCoMo phone and finally get an iPhone. We live in exciting times.

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Stuff That Happened in Japan Recently

Posted in Japan by 51future on May 27, 2008

Cannibis Blunder at Tokyo Airport

An unwitting passenger arriving at Japan’s Narita airport has received 142g of cannabis after a customs test went awry, officials say.

Manpei Tanaka is my hero: “I knew that using passengers’ bags is prohibited, but I did it because I wanted to improve the sniffer dog’s ability.”

If only more people were willing to go so far to succeed.

Japanese Man Stalks Toll-Free Hotline to Hear Woman’s Voice

This guy racked up 3100 hours between 16 months and 600 phone calls– all to listen to the voice on an automated guidance tape.

“He gets excited by the woman’s voice on the guidance tape,” the spokesman said, adding that the voice sounded normal to the detective who was involved in the investigation.

Chris Odate on Facebook

I updated my movies on Facebook to include the excellent Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street and clicked it to see if anyone else had that down as one of their favorite movies. This took me to Chris’ profile. He’s in the Japan network, but really the important thing here is the fact that his profile is about as close to MySpace as you can get without actually going there. It’s really terrible.